How do we communicate love?

Cover photo: Detail of The Kiss, oil on canvas, by Gustav Klimt, (1907-08). Via Wikipedia.

Happy Valentine’s Day! What better way to celebrate than with a series of artworks that examine the way we communicate love? According to marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five ways to express and receive love, and everyone has a preferred ‘language’ in which they translate their affection. Here are the five love languages illustrated by artists throughout time, culture, and history.

Words of Affirmation

Words can express how someone truly feels. According to Dr. Chapman, words communicate “the power of appreciation.” Everyone appreciates a complement, whether about intelligence, kindness, or beauty. In The Love Letter, French painter Jean Honoré Fragonard depicts the romance of the rococo period. A coy young woman leans over a desk, holding a bouquet of flowers and a letter from an admirer. She stares at the viewer, unwilling to share her gifts. What beautiful message does the young woman so jealously guard?

Gifts

Haft Paikar (The Seven Beauties) is a romantic epic by the Persian poet Nizami Ganjavi, telling the tale of divine love and earthly pleasures. In this illustration by Shaikh Zada, Bahram Gur in the Yellow Palace on Sunday, King Bahram Gur visits one of his princesses and treats her with lavish wealth. The moralistic poem expresses that love cannot be rooted in material possession. Dr. Chapman writes, “The gifts need not be expensive or elaborate; it’s the thought that counts.”

Acts of Service

“Actions speak louder than words,” reminds Dr. Chapman. Edo period artist Suzuki Harunobu’s woodblock print depicts a couple in the midst of a serene walk through the snow. The two lovers share an umbrella, holding it together. The intimate scene reminds of the importance of kind gestures, cooperation, and compromise.

Quality Time

A vital aspect of any healthy relationship is quality time, which Dr. Chapman describes as “undivided attention” such as devoted conversation. In Kerry James Marshall’s painting Untitled (Club Couple), a man and women sit in a restaurant, sharing electric blue cocktails. The pair smiles at the viewer, with their hands interlocked. The man slyly hides a small blue box behind his partner’s back. Marshall prompts the question, what conversation might the couple soon have?

Physical Touch

Dr. Chapman writes, “nothing communicates love more clearly” than physical touch; it is proven to elicit a physiological response of bonding and trust. In his masterpiece The Kiss, Austrian painter Gustav Klimt depicts the time honored act through his characteristic Byzantine opulence. The artwork is a testament to desire and carnal love whose sensuality approaches a spiritual experience. A couple is locked in tight embrace, shrouded in gold. The woman’s eyes are closed, but she appears at peace as her lover gently kisses her cheek.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Show someone you love them!